The August Offensive

Congrats to our Group Stage winners!

Blood Sisters
Skeleton Brains
Good* Improv Team

And a huge round of applause to the performers who didn’t make it. We’ll see you next time around!

Ladies and Gentleman
Olive Garden
Dyck and Dyckie

Semi Finals

Saturday August 11th

The 4 winning teams will perform 10 minute sets. 2 winners will be chosen by audience vote.


Saturday August 18th

The 2 winning teams will perform 25 minute sets. The winning team will be chosen by audience vote.

What is this madness?

Berlin’s first improv CageMatch!

The Offensives are a long form improvised comedy tournament that take place over three Saturdays at CCB. 8 teams battle it out on stage for audience votes; only 1 team reigns supreme.

Winners of the Offensives enter the Champions League Champion of the Universe Championship and compete against each other in an exclusive competition.

What are the Rules?

  • A team can only have MAX 3 players per night and MAX 1 substitute.
  • Each team will have an allotted time, NO MORE NO LESS. A timer will be projected on the wall. A buzzer will sound when your time is up.
  • Each audience member has ONE vote. They will be recorded on paper ballots, counted and collected by a neutral party (the hosts of the tournament). The team with the most number of audience votes wins.
  • PERFORMERS are NOT allowed to vote.
  • The decision of the host is final. No whining. No recounts. In the event of a tie, the teams in question will elect ONE player to participate in a ‘shootout’ (details have never been ironed out but probably a shortform ‘step out’ game)
  • This is meant to be a friendly competition. That being said – trash talking is encouraged.
  • The hosts can assess penalties and make up rules at their discretion.
  • THIS IS MEANT TO BE SILLY AND FUN! Dress up like clowns or wrestlers. IT DOESN’T MATTER! But do good improv 😛


The “Offensive” Winners

GRILL TALK – 20.08.2016
CǓNT HÅMMɆR – 21.01.2017
Carl Me Maybe – 19.08.2017
Cat Bear – 20.01.2018

The Champions League Champion of the Universe Championship Winners

CǓNT HÅMMɆR – 28.01.2017
CǓNT HÅMMɆR – 29.09.2017
GRILL TALK – 27.01.2018

The “Offensive” Leaderboard

Carl Me Maybe* – IIIII
Cat Bear* – III
Slow Clap – IIII
the “h” is silent – I
Great Grandkids! – I
Cat Video – I
Vegetable Product – I
Steven Segalman Brothers Band – I
Dicks & Glasses – I
Scratch Theater Company Players – I
Three Wishes – I
Bloodthirsty – I
Blood Sisters – I
Skeleton Brains – I
Good* Improv Team – I
Cool Story, Bro! – Ø
The Awkward High Five – Ø
The Pants on Fire – Ø
Ghost Boner – Ø
I dont know man I am not good at anything – Ø
#TryMeNot – Ø
Team Carl – Ø
Fresh Import – Ø
The Barbapapa – Ø
A Dinosaur – Ø
Skit Happens! – Ø
The Bottle Episode – Ø
The Olive Garden – Ø
Ladies and Gentleman – Ø
Dyck and Dyckie – Ø


Hosted by GLB